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The Story Behind Chanbox
Spooky SkeletonsChapter 1: An erotic dissertation on the autism of anonymous message boards, involving 3spooky5me (Editor’s Note: It’s more than 2 and 4) skeletons (don’t look behind you)“Oh comely, oh comely, how come thy Playstation haveth no games?” The autist spouted into the thread, drool pouring out of his mouth, splattering all over his keyboard. The mixture of spit and cheeto dust formed a hard coating, covering his entire desk. He was the essence of anonymity, a painful, yet ripe pimple on the ass of the internet. He did not contribute, he only posted pictures of women with black dicks, thinking it was mildly humorous. He reveled in the fact that people found him as such, yet there was no positive reinforcement of this. He lived in a fantasy land, a land called 4chan. “Fuck you nerds, fucking fuck. You play your god damn /a/ games all day. It’s 4 in the fucking morning, and you post your god damn pudding bullshit. Every morning, I have to deal with nerds like you. Katawa Shoujo? More like Katawa Gayjo. Fuck you guys, I have had more girlfriends than you have ever had. My penis has experienced more autistic assholes than you ever dreamed of.” His experiences were normal for /v/. Terry lived with this reality. Day in, day out, he saw to it that the quality of /v/ meet the quality standards that he believes in. His /b/rony threads were always the ones chosen by the hordes of autistic fans, he was a celebrity, for christ’s sake, he had to make his board better! The bright spot of his day was when he could ‘avatar up,’ and become the /b/rony that everyone loved. “Love and friendship, my friend! All /b/ronies welcome!” His mind was so egotistically adjusted that he failed to realize that there was a /mlp/ board. Was this ignorance, or was it painful disobediance at the hands of an overlord who hated them. Terry didn’t give a fuck, he loved being a /b/rony. “There’s nothing girly about it, the story is actually incredibly deep! Too deep for you, at least xD,” he posted in the thread, when some silly anonymous user pointed out the absolute absurdity in these /b/rony threads. Something he could never understand was why people seemed so annoyed by his threads, “If you don’t like my threads just ignore them,” he would constantly tell others.However, one horrible horrible day, everything he worked for seemed for naught. It was business as usual, a thread to commemorate the new day and say hello to the board, but it seemed no one was responding. “What is this? No one feeding me attention? This will not do.” , his plea for help, and attention, wasn’t heard. He began to type up another post, “Please respond ;_;”. No responses were given. Now he started to get mad and even a little crazy, how could this board abandon their king? This is unthinkable, are his posts invisible? In his rage our /b/rony fell onto another thread and began the sage spam, it wasn’t until an anon posted that word did things make sense, and it was that word that so roasted his rear. “Filtered”, some anon had typed. It seems people began to use scripts, and this was not allowed, this should not be even possible. Why would people refuse to read the /b/rony’s glorious posts? And to add insult to injury, in a completely different thread, someone insulted his waifu. Chapter 2: An assertion of dominance amongst the Japanese household One morning in the Kawaii-Otaku district of Sakuradesuramen Japan, a slender young Japanese boy was babysitting his little sister.“Oh yes, onii-chan! Right in there” Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox screamed as her uguu asshole was spurting with a frothy mixture of dish liquid and anal nactars.“I am going to burst your tummy by filling you up with my children” Her brother whispered into her ear.Then, two young men came running into their room and took off their shirts because they are kawaii.“Onii-chan! Looks like we have more playmates!” Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox rejoiced as she saw these fit young men right in front of her.Meanwhile, in Detroit, an ancient evil began to get out of bed and started to make himself a cup of coffee. He was approximately 6 feet tall and had skin that resembled chunky shit. Naruto came to visit him for an intense BDSM session. They began to get into the mood by queing up some Marilyn Manson on iTunes and cutting their wrists until they were hard enough to fuck. Naruto was looking very kawaii that evening and the candle light made his red-yellow-blue-yellow-magenta-aquamarine-beige-ebony eyes all the more enticing. He slowly approached the ancient evil with his 18” cock out, stroking it ever so slowly and subtly like a turtle crossing an interstate highway except not like that at all. “Wow, that’s quite a kawaii cock you have!” spouted the ancient evil in awe.“You better believe it!” Cheered Naruto as he began to prematurely ejaculate all across the ancient evil’s face. This stream of ejaculation was more pure than a glacial reserve and more divine than ambrosia. The ancient evil drank every drop of it. Naruto’s stream of cum just kept coming out with no slowing down. The ancient evil was gaining pounds by the second as his digestive tract was filled to the brim with this delectable nectar of the gods.“Naruto-San! RABHSRBAKRSAKSBKABSRhkASBRRKAHBRBLBLBLBL” said the ancient evil as he gagged on this never-ending stream of man juice coming from the tip of Naruto’s piece. As the ancient evil looked up, he realized that Naruto was not the thin young woman that he had fallen in love with several weeks ago. Instead, this once-kawaii husbando was glowing and had 90 wings coming out of his muscular back. He had about a 57 pack but it was hard to tell because his torso was contorted into a 4-dimensional mobius strip that spanned all of space and time. His buttocks was clenched so hard that his two solid cheeks has collapsed into one another, creating a swirling vortex that had once been his uguu asshole. The ancient evil cringed in fear as he examined this marvel floating in front of him, taking up the place of his former lover. “THIS ISN’T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!” Bellowed the augmented Naruto-kun.Like a miracle from the gods, Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox and her brother came into the door with two other effeminate looking protagonists. “This is for our village!” Shouted the then-level-87 mage that Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox had become. She attacked the ancient evil with a sledgehammer and smashed his face in until his skull was crushed up as dregs in the bloody froth his smashed brain had created. She proceeded to rape his skull with her 90” nigger cock (insert picture here plz) and began to ejaculate. This stream of kawaii cum was like Naruto-san-kashi-kiiwatha’s in that it was the finest of all cum in all the heavens. The stream transformed her into a angel-like divine being that had 1 ½ boobs and 29 bellybuttons. the wings that sprouted out of her back were arranged to form a pentagram because Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox was secretly a 420demonGodezz but she didn’t want her brother to know. “YOU’RE ONE OF THEM NOW!” her brother shouted, bursting into tears. “Fuck off, you stupid prep.” Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox sighed as she raised a middle finger at her uncool brother and turned her sledgehammer into a red guitar and started to fuck Draco Malfoy. “HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY SISTER YOU FUCKING GOTHIC FREAK!” her brother burst at Draco. “Fuck you.” said Draco “FUCK YOU!” said Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox’s brother “Fuck you.” said Draco “FUCK YOU!” said Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox’s brother “Fuck you.” said Draco “FUCK YOU!” said Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox’s brother “Fuck you.” said Draco. Hearing this, Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox’s brother took out his sword and began to charge at Draco. “Noooo! Stop it Onii-chan! If you kill him, you’ll be just like him!” Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox bawled. Her brother was very touched by this message. He made a gun with his fingers and parted with a final word: “Bang.”. He collapsed and Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox began to cry so hard that she brought him back to life because Sonic was watching the whole time and felt the same way when 9/11 happened so he prayed to Jesus overlord in order to save the soul of Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox from the evil world of liberal America where VHS tapes are no longer sold and women are allowed to have jobs.Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox killed her brother again when he tried to rape her as he came back to life.EW YOU FUCKING PERV WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME” She screamed as she slit her wrists open and pulled a 80” meter dildo out. She began to pry Naruto’s cavernous vagina apart with her teeth and shove the dildo all the way in. He cummed so hard that he gave borth three times and named his babies Naruto-kun, Naruto-tan and Naruto-San. Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox began to masturbate using these babies by shoving them in and out of her oozing dick hole repeatedly. Draco wanted in on the fun so he began fisting his dickhole until his arm was so far in his dick that he pulled both of his testicles out of his mouth using his foot as his esophagus was pulsing with orgasmic delight. Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox, Draco, Naruto, Snoop Dogg, and Edward the vampire all decided to write a song about their adventure because the public needed to hear about the holocaust. Sonic the hedgehog began to cry and sent the video of them singing their song to Jesus, who stopped 9/11 from happening by getting on one of the planes and flying it into Africa where he brought them enough food to not starve forever. All the gothic people of the world rejoiced as all the fucking prep losers were sent to prisons for being homosexuals and working alongside the ancient evil. As Sakura-dubstep-kawaii-desu-huntsmanfox clenched her severely wounded stomach and began to lose control of her asshole, she remembered all of the good times when her and Draco used to go to MCR concerts and be scene together. Draco cried so hard that she came back to life but he is actually gay so he killed her. Naruto walked over to Draco and placed his hand on his shoulder to help him cope with his loss. Draco began to cum so hard that Naruto got a boner without even using his hands and his dick extended its way into heaven where Jesus began to ride the tip of it and slide all the way down so that his tight virgin asshole was filled to its maximum capacity. Naruto’s vagina was coming out of his pants and he felt embarrassed so he killed himself while holding up the American flag with an anarchy and satanism symbol. Snoop Dogg was crying so hard that he put on his panties and high heels to cheer himself up.“YALL WANNA FUCKIN TAP DIS??” He hollered at Dumbledore and Jesus as he bent over, revealing his tight, dripping wet man-ass-pussy-tit-hole. Dumbledore wasn’t gothic so he died. Jesus crammed his cock all the way into his own mouth because Snoop was such a kawaii sensei.420_noscope_xx_narutoxsonic_OFWGKTA (thats me) saw Dumbledore dead on the ground and began to cry out tears of blood as a gothic raven flew by in the background and Linkin Park started rapping to express his pain. He knew that the only way for Dumbledore to be accepted into heaven is if he wasn’t Jewish. 420_noscope_xx_narutoxsonic_OFWGKTA began to cut his wrists and then cut the tip of his own fingers off and put the skin on the head of Dumbledore’s 95’ erect cock. He floated up to heaven and 420_noscope_xx_narutoxsonic_OFWGKTA killed himself because he remembered that Tupac did the same to save his life. LYK DIS IF YUU CRIE EVERTIM 07:17, July 18, 2012 (UTC) Chapter 3: Sniper spy Sergei Nikoli, and the truth about 9/11 Sergie has lived a hard life, she had been an orphan since age 5, she had killed 20 men when her hometown was invaded, when she turned 6 she became a leet sniper known for her no scope shots made while performing a complete circular revolution for the russian army but left because the commanding officer tried to rape her multiple times. Now, she wanted to join the freedom fighters from the Sonic The Hedgehog animated series and fight Dr. Robotnik, who, ironically, wasn’t a doctor at all in the series. Yes, Sergie was a furry, and her tragic past had left her with no way to differentiate reality from fantasy. The only way to make her world real was trough heavy drug abuse. But she needed money, and had none. And so, she became an internet terrorist. She used what she had learned during her time in the army to harass people on the internet, only stopping when her victims gave her what she wanted. But one day was not like the others. One day, one of her victims threatened to call the “Cyber-Police”. She paid no mind to it,foolishly thinking it was just an empty threat, that there was no such thing as the “Cyber-Police”. And so, she kept on trolling. After she was done, she heard a knock on the door. To her horror, it was the Cyber-Police. They looked like Skeletons wearing skin tight (or should I say BONE tight) pink Tron outfits. They opened their mouths, and said as one :”sometimes, we smoke cigars”. Sergei could no longer control herself. She let fear take control of her body, and jumped out the window of her flat, falling from the 52nd floor of the first twin tower, right before Spider-man crashed his private jet intro it. He-man, no longer wanting to live after having lost his best friend, did the same on the second tower. Osama Ben Laden was blamed for the attack, as the governement thought the masses wouldn’t understand that is was two fictionnal characters who were responsible for this tragedy. Chapter 4: The REAL Truth about being “friendzoned’’ “You’re too good for him, Sarah!” Jimmy was always stuck comforting her on Friday nights, after the inevitable hurt that always followed after Sarah’s drunken slut parties, in which she would fuck as many men as possible in one night. Afterwords, none of them ever called. It made Sarah feel worthless, and it made Jimmy jealous of all the opportunities that these men pass up! How could these men not realize absolute beauty which lays within Sarah. What Jimmy would not give for those opportunities. The sparkle which lays within her eye, the way that her voice cracks when she laughs. Jimmy, always a man of words, but never a man of actions. He was never invited to these parties, only the shameful cry-fests which always followed the drunken sex tirades which were hosted by Sarah.Jimmy lusted after Sarah’s hoochie, the worn snatch which so many men had completely obliterated. Yet he was stuck, shouldering the pain dealt out by those sick and perverted men who took advantage of this poor beautiful soul. He had had enough, he would finally announce his complete and total love for Sarah, right after she got done crying about how much she wishes all guys were as great as Jimmy.The words wouldn’t come. Jimmy wasn’t sure if it was due to nerves, or the stunning beauty of Sarah, the stretchmarks visible on her breasts, the hello kitty bra pattern clearly stained with what appeared to be cool ranch. After taking a few deep breaths, the words came tumbling out of his mouth like a faucet. “SARAH, I CAN’T STAND THE FACT THAT YOU SLEEP WITH THESE GUYS. EVERY WEEK, IT’S THE SAME STORY. SOME GUY FUCKED YOU, AND HE NEVER CALLED BACK! I LOVE YOU, AND I ALWAYS HAVE LOVED YOU! HOW CAN’T YOU SEE THIS?”“Jimmy... I’m at a loss for words... You’re like a brother to me, and I wouldn’t change that for the world! I just don’t see you as anything more...” but Sarah could not deny herself any more, she allowed him entry into her batcave. Jimmy soon found himself thrusting his towering rod in Sarah’s vagina, while she was fingering her own anus as she got into it herself. It was the most orgasmic feeling she has ever experienced. The day after, she claimed Jimmy raped her, as she was feeling ashamed for being the slut she was. The boy hadn’t really done it, yet there were many men who sided with Sarah, even a Jimmy beat-up game was created. However, the main issue for Sarah was what should be considered more important : Her own integrity, or Jimmy’s life? Her decision came with little hesitation. Three weeks later, Jimmy was sitting on the electric chair, waiting to die. The officer was about to pull the lever, when Sarah spoke out, “Wait” she cried, all eyes in the room on her, Jimmy was on the verge of joyous tears. “Let me pull the lever,” she went over the lever as the Officer stepped back and pulled it while shouting as hard as she could “YOLO.” It was over for the boy, electricity reverberating through his body. Smoke started to rise from his fingers, the nails curling from the heat. Jimmy was later pronounced dead, however soon all the skin and all the flesh melted from Jimmy’s bones. He became a spooky skeleton, and then pronounced undead. The whereabouts of Sarah are currently unknown, but she was seen shortly after Jimmy’s undeath with a large African American, and seemed to be pregnant. Jimmy was forced to pay child support. The end. Chapter 5: Be A Man Tootsie It was a dark and stormy night. A lone wanderer entered the dark and foreboding dungeon. Unfortunately for him, it was the towns coming of age ceremony, which meant that he had to go cave spelunking. He really did not have a choice in this matter, he could say no and refuse to participate, but then everyone will ignore him and never interact further with him. There were rumors of skeletons roaming around in this cave. But our lone wanderer has yet to meet one. These rumors sometimes mentioned that the skeletons were possibly spooky. The lone wanderer was obviously shaking in his boots, but living life as a social pariah was a far worse choice than be scared by some silly skeletons. Who was he to deprive the townsman of their entertainment, either? He clenches his teeth, clenches his buttocks, and slowly starts entering the cave. “EL OH EL, this is what I did to your mom last night,” said the lone wanderer to nobody in particular. “Gosh, I’m such a funny guy, EL OH EL!” His confidence could almost be attributed to his increased testosterone levels, but puberty also made it hard for him to learn when to shut up. This would later prove to be his downfall. “Fucking skeletons, who do they think they are? God damn fucking bony calcium rich nigger fuckers. I ain’t afraid of no dead motherfuckers, they died once? I’ll kill them dead again. FUCK.” “BOO” shouted a skeleton. One of them showed up while our wanderer was being a jack ass, and as luck would have it, our wanderer had flung and lost his sword during his tomfoolery.